Planning a wedding can be stressful under the best of circumstances. So when family problems crop up at the same time, the anxiety we feel becomes almost intolerable. We spoke with two experts for some pointers on how to cope:
* Take time out of your schedule to do whatever activity helps you relieve stress. Try writing in a journal, going for walks or exercising. "Managing your time is a crucial factor," explains Dr. Cynthia Mayer, a psychologist with practices in New York City and Westport, Conn.
* Let people in your office know what's going on. Even if they cannot lighten your workload before the wedding, at least you won't have to mask your anxiety. As Dr. Mayer explains: "Controlling your feelings can get to be oppressive."
* If your loved one cannot be at the wedding, Dr. Sherry Schachter, who runs a grief counseling program at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, suggests bringing something special of your relative's to the wedding. One idea: You and your groom can dine off of meaningful dishes belonging to a family member.
* Dr. Schachter also suggests visiting the grave of a departed family member before your wedding ceremony. You can use that time to talk to your loved one, perhaps feel as though they are part of the celebration.
Getting Personal is a regular feature of The Bridal Book. If you would like to contribute your personal story, please send it to: Elizabeth Tommasi, The Bridal Book, 1 Gannett Drive, White Plains, NY 10604, or email it to etommasi@thejournalnews.gannett.com.
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