S
he's the "empress of etiquette," the "queen of courtesy" to her legions of readers.
She was a protegee of Mrs. Meriwether Post and Mamie Eisenhower, friend of Mrs.
Art Buchwald and frequent guest at the White House.
She moved from the nation's capital to the "hog capital of the world" 37 years ago.
Today, Marjabelle Young Stewart reigns over her etiquette empire with books, videos,
lectures and interviews with no hint of slowing down. With 21 books to her credit and
another formulating in her mind, she is traveling the country speaking and promoting
her book, "The Complete Wedding Planner" (St. Martin's Press, $16.95).
Yes, etiquette is a hot topic.
According to Stewart, etiquette books are now outselling cookbooks.
In a flowing pink organza gown with diaphanous ruffles designed by her friend, the
artist Lonnie Stewart, the etiquette queen talks with publishers in New York, television
executives in California and friends nationwide.
Her message is simple and consistent: Etiquette is a key to clear communication, a
protocol for professional success, a tool for a happy and productive life.
"Etiquette can take you where you want to go faster than a speeding BMW," she said.
"Good manners take you places money can't."
Etiquette is also the common-sense nuts and bolts of life.
"Don't end up at the wedding with a wad of soggy, wet Kleenex. Be sure to take a
lace-edged hankie," she admonishes.
While standing in a swagged and twinkling gazebo in her Kewanee, Ill., backyard,
Stewart said, "One of my best tips in 'The Complete Wedding Planner' is how to turn
anything into a beautiful situation with yards and yards of netting, tiny lights, garlands
of ivy and rented plants. Even an ugly church basement can look beautiful."
Stewart said her knowledge of etiquette started with on-the-job training.
"I went from a 17-year-old girl in Council Bluffs, Iowa, to the wife of an international
scientist in Washington, D.C.," she said. "I became a 'sipper.' I'd sip my drink and
look over and see what fork or spoon others at the table were using. It was on-the-job
training at the highest level."
Mellowed by decades of weddings, state dinners and formal entertaining, Stewart now
says the ultimate goal of etiquette is to make others feel comfortable.
She recalled a White House dinner
with then-President George Bush,
father of the current president, and his
guests from Asia, where the custom is
serve a clear broth at the end of the
meal. When White House staff served
finger bowls at the end of the meal,
guests were startled to see the Asian
diplomats pick up the finger bowls and
drink the contents.
Without hesitation, President
Bush picked up his finger bowl and
toasted his American guests, indicating
they should follow suit. Everyone
the table drank the contents of their
finger bowls.
"That is etiquette," said Stewart.
Etiquette is knowledge, not to
criticize others with or to put on airs,
but to make you a finer person.
"And remember, every day is a gift. Do
not rely on other people or the condition
the world to make you happy."
