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But make sure to include children in a second, or third, wedding
BY KAREN CROKE
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 They say the second time around, anything goes, and often that means going in the totally opposite direction from our first wedding. So if you went the casual route your first time, you can have that big, blow-out wedding in a cathedral. Perhaps you simply want close family and friends to stand by your side as you exchange vows on a sandy beach.
Second-time rides are often older and wiser and may need to include children in their celebration, which makes these weddings truly a family affair. Nicole Miller's new line for kids, shown at left, adds the right look for a teen bridesmaid, for instance.
Pick out the dresses and then use this checklist to help you plan the perfect second (or third!) go-round:
Twelve Months or More Before the Wedding
Discuss the size of your wedding and whether you are going formal or casual.
Determine your budget and who is going to pay for what.
If either you or your fiance have kids, make sure to ask them to be part of your ceremony. However, be understanding if they balk! They may change their minds as the date draws near.
Begin looking for the perfect ceremony and reception site.
Eight to Ten Months Before
Time for that gown search. Don't be tied in to traditional wedding shops. Try the couture department for something stylish, or opt for a smart suit, depending on the formality of the day.
Book a photographer and videographer and the florist.
Decide on the entertainment. Again, this will be based on the scale of the day. Many second weddings are a little more low key so perhaps a DJ will suffice.
Six to Eight Months Before
Work with your bridal party on their attire. Perhaps you can decide on a color scheme and let them buy their own outfits, or you might decide on separates from one designer and let them chose the pieces that look best.
You and your fiance should finalize the menu.
Give some thought to the honeymoon.
Four to Six Months Before
Attend pre-wedding counseling (if needed).
Decide upon and order invitations. Again, if there are children involved, include them in the wording.
Start shopping for wedding rings.
Pick out a suit or tux for the groom.
Three Months Before
Decide upon and sign a contract with a limousine company or other transportation provider. Determine who will need transportation and for how long.
Order wedding rings. at the same time, you might want to add a family medallion, which is becoming more popular at second weddings where there are children. The medallion is given to each child during the ceremony to show they've become part of a new family.
Finalize your guest list.
Two Months Before
Mail invitations.
Finalize your vows, again, including children.
One Month Before
Double check the details and finalize all your contracts, making sure dates are correct for limousines, the band, and the caterer. Make any last payments.
Sit down with your babysitter and go over the details of your honeymoon. This is the perfect time to deal with any problems or conflicts in schedules or personalities.
Have a final dress fitting.
Pay a visit to your salon for a hair and makeup update.
Make a lunch date with your children, just for fun.
Get the marriage license
One Week Before
Give caterers a final head count.
Make a seating chart.
Confirm all arrangements.
Two Days Before
Check with the florist on all flowers and bouquets, as well as delivery time and place.
Write checks.
Ask one of you bridesmaids or a friend to troubleshoot any minor problems during the party. The catering manager or party planner deals with the big issues.
Make sure everything is read, from your dress to the veil to the shoes. Do you have pantyhose, an extra pair of pantyhose and the right shade of lip color?
The Day of the Wedding
Eat breakfast
Get some exercise
Spend time alone with your family - your next extended family - before the ceremony.
Have a wonderful day!!
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To advertise in the Spring/Summer 2005 Bridal Book, please contact Marianne Ruggeri at (914) 696-8261 or email mruggeri@gannett.com. Deadline is November 9!
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Getting personal
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Princess Bride
Just in cakes
Main menu
Vintage advantage
Take a second look before you book
Wedding Gown Designer Amy Michelson's Success is No Act
Second Time's A Charm
Anything Goes, Part II
Color your world
A Sparkling July 4th Wedding
Wedding Workout
It's a snap!
Move over fred & ginger
About face
Lingerie survey
Prenups
Vintage wisdom on selecting a fine champagne
Gift guide
Sail away
America the Beautiful
Trading toasters for travel
Luxe-for Less Honeymoons
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